Forgiveness
by RedHatMeg
Summary: Feliks thought, he will never forgive Ludwig what he had done during WW2. History of Polish-German reconciliation.


**So I've decided to write a fic about Poland and Germany. It suppose to be history of long process of reconciliation between us. I obviously couldn't show ALL this moments, when Feliks or Ludwig was doing something in Polish-German relations, so I've choose the ones that I thought was important or nice. It starts at the end of the war and ends in moment, when Poland become NATO member and prepering himself for EU.**

**Sorry, all German's out there. It's so much Poland-centric. But I want to say one thing: I think, that reconciliation between Ludwig and Feliks is good thing and your wounds also should be healed!**

**Forgiveness**

He should be happy. After all he was the one of nations, whose won the war. But he didn't felt like a winner. He was standing at the Krakowskie Przedmieście and watching the ruins of Warsaw – this rubble on the streets, this grey, irregularly broken like a porcelain figures buildings; like some kind of relic of ancient civilization's architecture. Some of constructions weren't that much damaged, but he could see from the distance fragments of Zygmunt's Column lying on the ground (such wonderful monument… it was standing there from 1644!). Finally – those people, who were coming from those buildings. Some of them were removing the rubble from the streets, others were just standing and talking. Some of them had bandages on their heads, eyes, arms, legs… Some of them hadn't arms or legs. He closed firmly his eyes and clenched his fists. He didn't want to think about those of his citizens, who had died. He didn't want to think about failed Warsaw Uprising and equally fatal Uprising in Ghetto[1]; about raids, bombings, public executions and…

His eyes became wet from tears, which ran through his dirty and bruised cheeks. This was the worst from them all. God, he never thought that something like this could be possible. He had seen many things… but this? Gather thousands of people – Jews, Poles, Gypsies, communists, homosexuals… – in one place, order them to make crazy, slavish work, no matter what weather was outside; feed them with minimum portions of bread and keep victimizing them, treat like a dogs, finally kill them in the gas chambers or with one shot in the back of their heads, and then use their bodies to make soap?! Poland felt big wave of wrath and despair that made his fist clenched even tighter. Soon his nails spiked into his palms, almost making him bleed. Feliks didn't expected from Ludwig that kind of cold, calculated cruelty. It was genocide. Genocide, which took so many of his people, that Poland could only despise monsters, who made this nightmare real. Bełżec, Auschwitz, Majdanek, Sobibor – how many of it was, there – on his own lands? How many places like this? Feliks wanted, but also didn't want to know it.

Not only his land was ruined; not only his people were suffering from famine, injuries and mental wounds, but Churchill, Roosevelt and Stalin decided that Ivan will keep Feliks' land, that he took in exchange of some parts of Eastern Prussia. Now Poland had to transport all those people from Ukraine to western territory. Why his lands was taken, anyway?! His soldiers was fighting from very beginning! He was attacked first. More – he was fighting absolutely everywhere to help others and in the end…

And this is victory?! Well, not for him! Poland was angry and broken. He knew that from now everything just won't be the same as before this damn war. Will he be able to live normally after this horror? After raids, shots, Nazi propaganda, fighting in conspiracy, concentration camps? Will he be able to laugh, sleep peacefully in his own bed, write nice poems after six years of observing death and destruction of his own country? Will he be able to reborn from the ashes as last time?

There was one thing, Poland was absolutely sure – he won't forgive it to Germany. His pain was too deep, he lost too much, because of this damn Germ. No, Ludwig deserved only for eternal hate after all this things, he had done to Feliks.

* * *

_6 July 1950, Zgorzelec_

Feliks took the pencil and signed the document. When he'd done, he gave the pencil to Gilbert in front of him, then quickly Poland brought him up the sheet. Prussia – now, known as GDR – with fineness signed it and put the pencil beside the document. His red eyes rolled from the sheet to Feliks and he smirked. Feliks also smiled, but with less enthusiasm.

"So," Gilbert slapped his laps. "now we are connected by _brotherly friendship_ whatever it means."

"I hope, the case of our borders also is solved?" Feliks said, sending Gilbert tired smile.

"Well, must be. Mister 'Become One With Me' would be unpleasant, if I wouldn't acknowledge current border on Odra and Nyssa." Suddenly his smile faded away and Prussia looked at Poland with serious expression. "But our exiles won't do it. They want justice."

"Justice?!" Feliks yelled angrily, standing up and leaning upon still sitting Gilbert. "First of all who started it?!"

"Hey, don't change the subject! it have nothing to do…" Prussia couldn't end the second sentence, because he was cut by another scream of furious Poland:

"Oh, yes, it have, Gilbert! I've got lands at Odra and Nyssa in exchange of my lands taken by Ivan! And remember what you and your brother had done to me! Do I have to repeat it all?!"

Gilbert didn't respond. He was just watching his "comrade" with cold gaze. Feliks was breathing heavily and he bit his lip. His green eyes was full of hate, pain and wrath. Prussia could see tears that wanted to came out, but Poland's pride didn't let him shed even one of them, in front of Eastern Germany. Suddenly Polish closed his eyes and sat on his seat. It seemed, he wanted to calm himself down. Soon his breath returned to normal. He sighed and looked at Prussian with sadness.

"Look, Gilbert, I know, those people had passed through tragedy…"

"They had to abandon their homes…"

"Don't disturb me," Poland harshly cut him. "when I'm talking, Gilbert." He continued: "I didn't expelled them. They've gone for their own, because they were afraid of Ivan's Red Army. I'm sorry for them, but border on Odra and Nyssa wasn't my idea. Besides, it's too late. We just sign the document that acknowledge the borders. Sorry, Gilbert." He suddenly stood up. "I have to go now." And he started to walk to the door.

Prussia was watching him as Poland was leaving, and when Feliks reached the doorknob, Gilbert said:

"You know, Feliks," Poland stopped. "five years had passed. War is over."

Feliks only turned his gaze to him and whispered:

"War took six years of my life. I need more then this to recover, Gilbert."

And he left the room and Prussia alone.

* * *

_1958, Synod of Evangelical Church of Germany_

Ludwig and Gilbert[2] were listening the president of synod, Lothar Kreyssig as he was reading the proclamation of newborn Sign of Expiation Action.

"We, Germans, started the World War II and just because of it, we are to blame for immeasurable sufferings of mankind. Germans killed in sinister rebellion against God millions of Jews. The one between us, people, whose survived, didn't want it, is the one, who didn't do enough to prevent it. We don't have peace, because – beside of all things – there is not enough reconciliation. We are still able, without damage for duty to mind conscientious political decisions, oppose self-absolution, acrimony and hate, if we will really forgive, ask for forgiveness and fulfill this conviction in practice."

"Nice." Gilbert said and turned his gaze to Ludwig: "What do you think, West?"

Ludwig was silent for a moment. His mind was now back in the past. He remembered many things he had done to many nations and many things that were done to him. He wasn't the same nation. He no longer was thinking about himself as master race. After all this years of denazification he had more humility. And now, when he was listening Kreyssig's proclamation about seeking forgiveness, something inside of him wanted to do anything to reconcile with nations that he hurt.

"Gilbert." He suddenly spoke and sent his brother sad expression. "We need to do this."

So from now on started long time period of reconciliation. In Feliks' case after some time members of Sign of Expiation Action in GDR and in Germany were contacting with different people in Poland. Eastern Germans were cooperating with independent circles – "Znak"[3], Catholic Intelligentsia Clubs and many others, not connected with Polish government, which was, on the other hand, "area" of Western German's actions. Gilbert's boss wasn't supporting the Sign of Expiation Action, because – as he was saying –_ GDR is antifascist state_ and tried to disturb Action with their initiatives.

Poland himself was rather cold. Ludwig and Gilbert could easily see that Feliks wasn't really convinced about reconciliation. There was still old scars that ached inside of him and he didn't thought about it all as honest actions, when he still remembered the past.

Soon Alfons Erb, the vice-president of catholic organization Pax Christi, came to Germany with interesting initiative. He ran to Germany's cabinet with expression of excitement and Ludwig knew, he was determinate to achieve anything.

"We should organize penitential pilgrimage to Oświęcim."

Germany was stunned.

"Oświęcim, _Herr_ Erb?" Ludwig rose his eyebrows. His eyes for a moment rolled on the floor.

"You know, _Herr_ Germany," Erb continued. "this town near Auschwitz."

Of course he knew what was Oświęcim. It was the memories that made him stunned. Suddenly he realized something important. What would Poland say, if he, all of sudden, decide to go to that place? Won't it be touchy visit? But on the other hand – it was _penitential_ pilgrimage. If Feliks see those people kneeling and praying in Auschwitz, he would be more open for reconciliation.

* * *

_1964, Oświęcim Brzezinka (Auschwitz-Birkenau)_

This place didn't changed at all… This was the first thought of both Germany and Poland. Train lines, curtains and main buildings made by red bricks, fence with barbered wire and… and crematories also was standing like nothing happened. Except one thing – there was no one here. No guards and no prisoners. There was only abandoned concentration camp and silence. Horrible, dead silence.

Catholic pilgrims and two nations were standing before gate with infamous sign and they were observing it for a moment.

"_Arbeit machts frei._" Germany read and made disgust grimace. "_Work makes free._"

What his people were thinking, when they made this sign? It was like some bad joke – prepare sign: _Work makes free_ upon the gate to place, where obviously it didn't made free anybody, beside guards. Germany looked at Poland. Feliks was staring at the sign in silence. When Ludwig gazed on his eyes, he could see, they were full of sadness. Then Poland suddenly stood before others and, didn't turning back to them, said quietly:

"Let's go."

He started to walk through white pathway and came into camp. Germany approached Poland, and pilgrims gone after the two nations. On both their sides were standing old buildings from red, almost brown bricks, with dirty windows and metal roofs. Sky was clear and blue. Sun was shining. It was nice, warm day.

Ludwig was walking beside Feliks. Polish was marching slowly, didn't paying attention on German, nor pilgrims. He was drowning in his thoughts… No, not thoughts. It were old, painful memories. Thoughts doesn't hurt that much! Every inch was making his heart, his wounds aching. Every look at this walls and pathway was bringing to his mind those images. He tried not to cry, but it became harder and harder as long as he was walking.

For a moment he turned his gaze from pathway before him to Germany. Then quickly he once again returned his look to what he had before him. And what Germany was doing here? What purpose he had in arriving in scene of his own crime? Poland clenched his fists, feeling as his battle wounds began to ache like they were fresh. Germany shouldn't came here. Walking just like that through this place.

"Hey there!" He suddenly turned back to face the pilgrims. "When we, like, end the tour we will go to Wall of Memory, which is placed there!" He pointed to gray fragment of wall in the red bricks of hedge. "Understood?!"

"Yes." They all agreed and Feliks came back to walk.

Feliks felt a lot more horrible, when they reached the barracks. Rows of quarters from the same, old bricks as the buildings at the gate; barracks situated on the open, green space, separated from rest of the world by fence with barbered wire, were making him trembling. Once again he was hearing screams inside of his head. He remembered not only what happened in this cursed place. He remembered all things, what Germany had done to him. He saw his destroyed capital, his dying people, his pain, his fear during every passing day of Germany's occupation. And after the war, when he was feeling so broken, so much hurt – all his effort to rise again. To be country again. To be state again. To be _nation_ again.

And now Germany was HERE! His presence in this place, after all of this, was too much.

Poland couldn't resist much longer. All his body seemed to explode from inner storm of unwanted memories and pain. He ran to nearest barrack. He could hear behind him Germany's calling. He was calling Poland's name, but Feliks wanted to find himself as far from him as he could. When he finally was inside of barrack, he walked to the nearest corner, sat there and curled his legs, like he wanted to not be found. He was trembling like he had been poured by freezing water. So long kept tears finally ran down his cheeks. He was looking like a scared child, who was hiding from bullies. Like someone, who was listening the bombs exploding outside his home and who wanted desperately to survive this all. He didn't paid attention on dark, dirty place, where he was now. His pain was now all he could focus on.

Ludwig rushed to the barrack. When he saw curled, trembled Feliks, who looked at him with tears in his green eyes, he was stunned. Poland's blond head was shaking like his neck had barely strength to keep it straight. Poland sniffed harshly, looked at man before him with something people would call fear, but right then he sent Germany the most cold gaze he could afford.

"Feliks…" Ludwig started and made one step forward.

"Stay away from me!" Poland yelled angrily. He was still trembling, but his cold eyes were keeping glare at Germany.

Ludwig could almost see in this dark green eyes… hate. Hate that was growing inside of Feliks during World War II and didn't stopped to grow during all those years after the war. He wasn't that cheerful, hyper Poland, Germany knew before the war. Poland was hurt. Poland was hurt and just now Germany realized how much he was hurt. And it made Ludwig's heart shake in his chest. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to fix everything.

Germany slowly came closer to him and now he was standing right before trembling nation. For a moment Poland felt like during the war – like a victim, when Germany was the executer. Feliks curled even more, like he wanted to escape from Ludwig. Then German kneeled before the Pole and sent him depressing gaze. Poland seemed to be surprised, but it didn't warmed the coolness in his eyes.

"Feliks," With one quick move Germany caught Poland's palms and kept them in his own hands, but even for a moment he hadn't stop looking at other nation's eyes. "I'm not the same monster as I used to be. I want to heal your wounds. Wounds that I once caused to you." His vision started to blur and Feliks could see tears in the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry, Poland." He said with shaking voice.

Feliks suddenly woke up and broke away from his caught. Then he pulled Ludwig away, making him fall on the floor, and he stood up.

"Now you are sorry?!" He screamed and this scream seemed to be thrown with all might of his lungs. "If you think, you can just come here and apologize, and it will make me forgive you just like that, you're, like, totally wrong!"

Ludwig put himself up and now they both were standing. Feliks sent him another cold look and just passed him, leaving the barrack. Germany came after him. Pilgrims already weren't there.

"They probably ended the tour and came back to Wall of Memory." Feliks said and just rushed to this place.

Ludwig ran after him. It seemed that, when he was approaching Poland, the man was walking faster, like he wanted to keep Germany few steps behind. But Feliks suddenly had to stop, because of what he saw/ He was stunned. Before the Wall of Memory was kneeling all pilgrims from Germany. Their heads were pointed down and their hands were rendered for prayer. After few seconds words of German entreaties reached Feliks' ears.

Germany stood beside him, but Poland didn't realized it. He was watching and listening as pilgrims were praying. He couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe his ears. His heart shook harshly and started to pounding quicker and quicker. He felt nice warm feeling. Pilgrims done the praying with sign of cross and, like one man, they stood up from their knees. Some of them lit the lights and put them at the Wall. Then they started to leave the camp and Feliks could easily see the tears in the eyes of some of them.

* * *

_18 November, 1965, Cardinal Stefan Wyszyński's cabinet_

"What is that?" Poland asked quietly, waving angrily the newspaper.

Cardinal, leaning his head on palms, was peacefully observing nation before him. He slowly stood up and unhurriedly came closer to Feliks, who calmed a bit by seeing Wyszyński's stoic stillness. But Poland still remembered, he came here with case. And this case was agitating his boss.

"What is that?" He asked once again. "This… this letter?"

"Oh," Cardinal started and smiled friendly. "the 1000-year anniversary of your baptism is approaching. We, the episcopate of Poland, want to celebrate it properly so archbishop Kminek wrote this missive to German bishops. And archbishop Wojtyła was editing it. That's all."

"But I totally don't like the words that were used there." Feliks said and opened the newspaper on page, where fragments of letter were duplicated. "See? This line: _We're forgiving and ask for forgiveness…_ Your Eminency, like, in whose name you are forgiving and asking for forgiveness? It's gesture that…"

"Gesture that should be done." Cardinal said. "It's time to make the gesture of reconciliation to our German brothers."

"But… but Your Eminency…"

Wyszyński put his hands on both Feliks' shoulders and looked in his eyes. Feliks felt that he can't fight. This man's personality was too strong to handle it.

"Forgiving is a duty of good Christian, Poland. And Germany also had his victims of Nazism. Many of his men and women, who didn't approve Hitler, were killed. Let start the reconciliation with Germany and start new chapter in our relations."

Feliks nodded, even if he didn't felt sure about it.

* * *

_70's, Warsaw_

In December 1970 Willy Brandt – actual Germany's boss in those years – signed in Warsaw the document about acknowledging border on Odra and Nyssa. Theoretically there shouldn't be no more argues about it, but after few years Germany's Constitutional Tribunal impaired it, because document was applying not only to Ludwig, but also Gilbert. So – in the end – the case of border was left to the time, when Ludwig and Gilbert will be once again one country.

Poland was angry at his boss, because in the 1972 Germany's government – at least! – paid victims of quasi-medical experiments the refunds and Poland's government suppose to give it victims, but they only gave them a little amounts and – in the end – some of this money was wasted.

But he caught himself that he was a lot more open for Ludwig and Gilbert. Even if he was still angry for World War II, his hate started to fading, or just slowly melting. After all, Willy Brandt, when he ended with document, had kneeled before Ghetto Hero's Monument. But there was still people unconvinced about honesty of Germany and GDR bosses.

* * *

_December, 1981, Warsaw_

Feliks was walking nervously around the room in his flat. Poland was feeling pain in his body. This pain was called: War Condition[4]. Just one beautiful morning general Jaruzelski showed in the TV and said that _because of atmosphere of endless conflicts, restlessness and hate_ he enforced the War Condition. Like, totally great. Feliks' economy was low, his people were fighting with ZOMO[5] all over his body, there were lacks of products in the shops… It was madness! He was angry like a hell.

Suddenly someone knocked to his doors. Irritated Feliks rushed to open them. It was postman, who smiled to nation widely. Poland rose his eyebrow a bit confused. His shyness made him for a moment roll his eyes on the floor and blush.

"Ehm… ehm… You… you came to me?" He started, shyly looking at the man before him.

"Feliks Łukasiewicz?" Postman asked.

"Yeah, like, totally me." Poland answered and smiled nervously.

"I have package for you."

Feliks startled, when postman gave him documents to give a receipt. When Poland signed it, postman gave him another and when he done with it, postman asked him to wait for a moment and he went downstairs. Quickly he returned with big box of brown paper. He came into Feliks' house put it on the floor and once again went down. Soon there was a lot of boxes in the Poland's living room. Feliks took the knife and opened the nearest one. His eyes widened, when he saw what was inside – clothes, medicines, food…

"Who sent it?" He asked himself and quickly started to search for sender's name.

After few seconds his eyes found note: _From Ludwig, Germany_. This name was placed on most of the boxes. On the others (less frequent, but still) was note: _From Awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt, GDR_. Boxes contained the same things, so needed Feliks' people in this hard times. Poland smiled to his own thoughts.

"Thanks, guys."

* * *

_1989_

And so it came. First prime minister Rakowski and chancellor Kohl decided in 1988 that they should make Polish-German relations more intensive. It wasn't very successful, but after free elections in June, the new government and new relations with Germany's procurator, Mieczysław Pszon, started to prepare Kohl's visit in Poland and normalization of Polish-German relations.

Kohl came in November. He arrived to Krzyżowa and took action in archbishop Nossol's _mass of reconciliation_. First time, after so many years from Brandt's visit, there was Germany's boss in Poland. Feliks felt like something was changing. His new, democratic government will, for sure, refresh it.

* * *

_November, 1990_

It was great day for them all. Poland was sitting next to _both_ parts of Germany. Now, as two independent countries, Feliks, Ludwig and Gilbert had signed once again, this time once for all, document that acknowledged the borders on Odra and Nyssa. When their signatures rested on the paper and Poland looked at both brothers, they also gazed at him and all three nations smiled.

"I hope, from now on, we are not enemies anymore, Feliks." Ludwig said.

"Of course, we aren't!" Feliks exclaimed with enthusiasm. And he really meant it.

Ludwig and Gilbert smiled. They felt like everything will change now. They will start once again. This time they will build good cooperation with Feliks. This time they will be friendly for each other. New Day in Polish-Germans relations had just came.

Soon, in 1991 the organization "Polish-German Reconciliation" was formed. And it's still prospering and working.

* * *

_1995_

In the silence of evening Poland sat in his chair and took the TV remote. It was time for some news, so he clicked the pilot and turned on the TV on TVP2[6] where should be Panorama. On the screen was showed Władysław Bartoszewski, Polish foreign office's boss. Feliks suddenly remembered, he was visiting in Ludwig's place. News speaker said:

"Today Władysław Bartoszewski had delivered the speech in session of Bundestag. He said that memory and historical reflection should show the way to nowadays motivations and those pointed in the future. He also expressed the condolence, because of sufferings of Germans, who had been forced to leave their homes…"

Feliks drown for a moment in his thoughts, ignoring, what speaker was talking. He was recently thinking about this case more. His historians was writing books and articles about German exiles. It passed fifty years since the war was ended. _"I'm not the same monster as I used to be. I want to heal your wounds. Wounds that I once caused to you."_ He remembered those words, told long time ago by Ludwig. He was working on it, and Feliks was grateful for it all, but how about him – Poland? What he had done to heal Ludwig's wounds? He might not be the one, who caused it (he was still thinking, they had to abandon their homes to escape from Red Army), but it didn't changed the fact, they were as much the victims of war, as his own people. It's good that his historians were talking about it. It's good that Poles had chance to get to know about German's fate.

* * *

_12 March, 1999_

"Welcome in NATO, Feliks." Was first words Germany had said do Poland, when Feliks had been accepted to this organization.

Ludwig gave him hand and both nations shook their hands in friendly gesture, one of many friendly gestures, they had made in recent decade. Then they looked at each other. Ludwig smiled lightly and said:

"You know, your Tenth Half-Track Brigade will be under command of my Half-Track Division."

"What?" Poland widened his eyes and laughed. "Oh, I'm, like, totally doomed."

"Why?" Germany asked.

"Well, Feliciano told me that you are, like, really harsh and demanding commander." Feliks explained and Ludwig also laughed.

"You should see, what kind of soldier he is."

"Yeah," Polish giggled. "But how do you know, like, I'll be the same? Or worse?"

Ludwig smiled wider and put hand on Feliks shoulder. Then his expression became more serious.

"And you?" He asked, surprising his neighbor. "Don't you feel uncomfortable under German control?"

"Well, there are for sure people, whose, like, totally don't like it, but we will see."

"Yeah." Germany smiled third time at this meeting. "We will see. Let's eat a lunch." He suddenly proposed.

"Nice idea. I totally like it." Poland said.

They both started to walk to the nearest café. For a few minutes they didn't speak to each other, because they didn't know about what they could talk right now. But Germany's hand was still on Poland's shoulder and Feliks seemed not mind it. They were partners now. Not only, because of NATO. Ludwig made a lot of investments on Feliks' lands. Feliks was his greatest partner in business on Eastern Europe area (he even surpassed Russia). But Ludwig didn't felt like he wanted to talk with him about money, nor past.

"I heard," Germany suddenly started, breaking the silence. "that you are preparing for European Union?"

"Yeah." Poland smiled. "Even, if I was in Eastern Block, I'm in Europe after all."

"I will help you." Ludwig said with light grin.

Surprised Feliks stopped and stood in front of Ludwig.

"Really?"

Germany nodded.

"I'll be your _counselor_[7]."

* * *

[1] Uprising of Polish Jews, who decided to die with gun in their hands against occupant. In fact it was fight for proper death.

[2]You may wonder why they are together. Well, firstly - it was synod of _whole_ Germany - both West and East part; and secondly - it was before Berlin Wall.

[3] Famous, underground newspaper of opposition.

[4] War Condition (_Stan Wojenny;_ I have problems with translation) - after strikes and birth of "Solidarity" general Jaruzelski, actual boss of Poland in 80., decided to enforce this. Official cause - other then restlessness - was low Polish economy (and apperhation of intervention of Red Army). During many strikes of workers, many people died or were injured.

[5] ZOMO (_Zmotoryzowany Oddział Milicji Obywatelskiej_ Motorized Troops of Civic Militia) - police in communist Poland.

[6] TVP1 and TVP2 are public Polish TV channels.

[7] Germany was supporting Poland, when we was attempting to EU membership. That's why people was calling Germany during those times _the councelor of Poland_.


End file.
